No. 12 – owls, dead ducklings and a delectable tart!

We tried out a new tea room this week in Terling, a beautiful little village that we used to frequent fairly regularly when we had a mutual friend that lived there. However, aside from walking from car to her front door and getting lost (as if) when I took the kids on a ‘magical-mystery-house-hunting-jaunt’ one day and having to ask a postman for directions, I had never explored further. The Owl’s Hill Tea Room is handily located on Owl’s Hill Road so easy peasy for us three navigationally challenged ladies to find. Having said that, we had agreed to meet at the Village Hall but Sister’s X and Y went rogue and located the tea room independently, leaving me and the littlest sister of the hood sitting on a bench by the village hall wondering where on earth they had got to! After 10 minutes and thinking that surely both of them couldn’t be late/lost we wandered round to the café to find them already in situ with high chair installed ready for us …. we did chuckle about it …. after, I confess, an initial grumble on my part …. think the cake withdrawal panic had set in! There is some sort of green space or nature reserve next to the Village Hall which looked like a lovely place to walk and fairly buggyable from brief inspection but it was too cold and a bit drizzly to walk for pleasure this time.

Owl’s Hill is a really lovely, ‘bijou’ tea room – I think only 6 tables or so – with easy access for the buggy and, obviously, a parking area outside so no real need to take the buggy in anyway. A very posh, very clean, portable high chair (the kind that strap on to an existing chair) was available and a lovely selection of cakes. Myself and Sister Y both had a Chocolate Coconut Tart which was sooo delicious and rich I think we probably should have gone for a walk to shake off some calories. Sister X indulged in a little cream tea (she opted for Camomile which she says paired very nicely with her scone) – all served on very beautiful china which was kept well out of the reach of the teeny tot! £4.75 for my tart and a pot of ‘proper’ tea – with leaves and a strainer and everything – we can’t wait to return and sample more of their wares.

Discussion turned to mine and Sister Y’s Easter holiday meet up which Sister X couldn’t make as she was tending her children who had been afflicted by the pox! We went to one of our old haunts – a big duck pond which the children all love. There is a little wooded area with a fallen tree to climb which is always shady and damp but which they like to play in. We have concurred that they are of an age where they can be trusted in there alone, mainly so that we can sit in the sunshine and not get chilled (we are getting on a bit!). Anyway, when they emerged, there was much talk of a dead duckling. Apparently my eldest had desperately wanted to perform some kind of burial service but the others had outvoted her, preferring to poke at it with sticks – as you do. It also transpired that my revolting second daughter had purposely trodden on the poor, deceased creature. I was actually quite mortified that she had done so and she was duly advised of the necessity to treat all animals, dead or alive, with the same respect and compassion. We assumed that was the end of it. However, the following day, when Sister Y’s husband was performing childcare duties, he noticed a big white streak of something covering their eldest’s coat. When asked about it, Husband Y was informed that it had sprayed onto his coat when the offspring belonging to me had ‘stamped on the dead duck’. Delightful. Husband Y responded, quite rightly, that it was disgusting. He replied, ‘That’s nothing, it went all up her leggings!’ I hang my head in shame …

Until next time, cake lovers xx

No. 10 – Tiptree Heath, Woodlands Tea Rooms and World Book Day!

Poor old Sister Y was stymied yet again this week by another child shaped vomiting bug – what are they putting in the water in North Essex?! So it was just Sister X and myself who met on a bit of a dubious weather day for a stomp around Tiptree Heath. We practically had the place to ourselves and, luckily, did not encounter the evil pony that tried to ‘kill’ myself, Sister Y and our offspring last time we were there (slight exaggeration but it did charge at us and the children do like to dramatize things!). I think the ponies are possibly only in residence from April so a bit early in the year to see them roaming free which is actually a lovely sight to behold. If you do take a buggy on the heath, especially in inclement weather, make sure it’s of the sturdy variety – I took my old, beaten up Baby Jogger which I was very thankful for over the bumpy, uneven, muddy paths.

We had lovely walk, discussing the merits of World Book Day and airing our grievances at the parents who basically can’t be bothered to make any effort and just order an outfit from Amazon and then moan about the cost! Jeez, people, it’s not hard or expensive if you put a little time and effort in – and it really can be minimal effort, let’s face it. Send them in pyjamas as one of the kids from The Midnight Gang; put your daughter in a dress and give her a book to carry – Matilda. It really does not require the buying of some mass produced nylon costume for £20 on Prime. Rant over, let’s move on to the cake . . .

The Woodlands Tea Room (or it may possibly be Forget Me Not Tea Rooms now – the sign says the former, the menu says the latter and I forgot to confirm with the ladies behind the counter) is attached to Tom’s Farm Shop on the B1022 between Great Totham and Tiptree Heath. It is a lovely, homey, bright space and the staff are quite friendly and accommodating. I didn’t need the buggy as we had to drive from the heath – it’s just short of a mile along the main road – but there would be plenty of room for one if needed. They had highchairs and even provide a little paper bib which was a nice touch.

WP_20190307_11_23_38_Pro — Another ‘half way through’ photo!

I had lemon drizzle and Sister X went for the ginger cake. Mine was really yummy and my discerning companion also enjoyed hers – not enormous slices but plenty considering I’m supposed to be watching the old waistline. We also rather liked that the milk was served in mini churns – cute! £3 for the cake and £1.50 for a pot of tea so pretty reasonable. We will definitely return with our third member – she’s much better at photographing the goods!

Litter Picking, a picnic and triple choc muffins!

Half Term was upon us yet again and so, given the success of our environmentally friendly Christmas expedition, Sister X made the suggestion of litter picking following a Facebook invitation she had received for an organised event in Chelmsford (I do recall Husband X saying that he didn’t actually need to converse with Sister X but simply had to check Facebook in order to know the family’s exact schedule for any given school holiday by the events she had ‘liked’!!). So, fresh air, doing good deeds again and also the opportunity for the older children to acquire a green Blue Peter Badge by writing about their experience. Unfortunately, Husband Y didn’t get the memo about Sisterhood meet ups and only went and took the day off to ‘do something as a family’ – tut, tut – so we were a few short on this Half Term jolly.

The day was warm (ish) and sunny (ish) and we arrived, after a slightly random sat nav diversion, to a packed out car park at West Park in Chelmsford. There were so many volunteers marching around purposefully in their hi-viz tabards my children were very concerned that they wouldn’t get their own litter picker! They need not have worried as the council employees had more than enough to go around. Off we went with our enormous green recycling bag, four very excited children and one not so excited baby. To our dismay there wasn’t actually much litter to pick up – obviously a good thing environmentally speaking – well done Chelmsfordians, pat on the back to you – but a bit disappointing from a litter picking perspective! However, there were plenty of cigarette butts scattered around benches to collect which evoked much disgust from our little people and rightly so, ‘Mum! Look at all these ‘smokers‘ – ugh!!’ and they had great fun litter picking leaves and, of course, each other!

Hard to believe that, being only February, it was actually warm enough for a proper picnic – how we of the Sisterhood love a picnic. Shame Sister Y wasn’t with us to enjoy the first one of the season! We had made some triple chocolate muffins to share, what with it being ‘Cake Thursday’ we wouldn’t want to let the side down!

150g plain chocolate, melted
125g milk chocolate chips
125g white chocolate chips
65g cocoa powder
325g self-raising flour
1 tsp baking powder
125g brown sugar
365ml milk
100ml vegetable oil
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract

Sieve cocoa, flour and baking powder together. Stir in the sugar.

Beat the milk, oil, eggs and vanilla together and stir into the dry ingredients.

Stir in the melted dark chocolate and fold in the chocolate chips.

Spoon into a prepared muffin tin and bake in a preheated oven at 180 c for 20 minutes. Yum!!

WP_20190224_08_41_49_Pro — best warm from the oven!

A Big Bird Feed at Danbury Country Park

Happy New Year all! We haven’t managed to get to any new tea rooms yet this year so I thought I’d write a recommendation for the above instead. We had a lovely get together with all the children just before Christmas at Danbury Country Park where we often go for picnics in the summer, once memorably involving one of our little poppets who was potty training at the time pooping themselves and then somehow managing to stand in it. After we’d all stopped laughing/gagging, the poor little mite was of course cleaned up, as was the surrounding area where he’d managed to spread it (wiping poo off grass with baby wipes is surprisingly difficult). Needless to say, the location of the picnic was hastily moved ….. Anyway, back to the more recent past.

We wanted to do something where they could be free and blow off some steam as, my, were they hyper on the build up to the school holidays! I think we all felt a little stressed with the pre-Christmas hype and so we decided that the Big Bird Feed would be perfect – outdoors, not a Grotto or candy cane in sight – just running around the Country Park like maniacs with a bag of wild bird seed, tipping it into hundreds of socks and stockings that had been strung from trees in order to provide all the birds with plenty of food over winter. Fun with a good deed at the heart of it – the perfect Christmas activity.

Sister Y and I failed miserably in the fairly obvious task of dressing the children in suitable attire – i.e. wellies. Sister X on the other hand, who had also brought Husband X along for some pre-Christmas mayhem, looked like she’d come from a Horse & Hound magazine photo shoot. They all looked extremely stylish – fully kitted out in wellies and waterproofs, backpacks and walking poles (okay, they didn’t really have walking poles). I’m just jealous ….. sigh!

It’s so lovely when they all get together, they really enjoy each other’s company. They all go to different schools and only see each other in the holidays or the odd special occasion and it’s heart warming to see them ‘click’ back in where they left off the last time they were together. They duly ran around the trail like maniacs, totally overexcited at the prospect of being allowed to carry their own pots of bird food, and proceeded to tip it all over themselves, the ground – I should think the official receptacles probably got about 30% of what they started out with!

We knew it was time to head back to the fire pit for hot chocolate and marshmallows when a few of them decided it was more fun to empty the stockings back into their own pots … !!

The Country Park employees had their hands full making hot chocolate for an amazing amount of people – it was so well attended. The children then found twigs to stick their marshmallows on and toasted them in the fire pit, managing to eat them without injury to themselves or anyone else which was quite a feat with so many people around to potentially stab/scald.

I’m not sure whether this is a once a year event but there is always something going on – they do “Wild Wednesdays” – all the info can be found at http://www.visitparks.co.uk. This was a free event, you brought along your own bird seed and your own mugs and marshmallows – they provided the hot chocolate. Parking charges apply for the car park.

We hope to be back eating cakes – purely for research purposes – very soon …. x

No. 6 – Hylands Park & playground politics!

Time for Sister X to have a spiffing idea this week: Hylands Park. A fabulous, free public space in Chelmsford, home of the Rize Festival (formerly ‘V’) where you can park for free, walk your dog, take a stroll around the delightful Pleasure Gardens, feed ducks on the pond, check out the awesome Adventure Castle playground, book in to Forest School, visit The Stables Café and artist studios and, of course, take a tour (or even get married) at Hylands House itself. There are two entrances – the house entrance, off the A414, or the park entrance on Greenbury Way.

We had a good old walk around the parkland. In fact, I’d go so far as to say we were marching at one point – we’re definitely getting better at the exercise element, especially seeing as my current buggy is not an all terrain model! Sister Y was in need of some love today as she’d had a big mummy fail on the school run when she realised she’d forgotten Non-Uniform Day! Seriously, who holds a non-uniform day on a Thursday? I think it’s a fairly acceptable mistake – these schools should really stick with protocol and not throw these curve balls at us. Life is complicated enough, people!!

Anyway, Sister Y duly consoled, the topic of conversation moved on to that school mum. You know – the one you can’t stand that everyone else seems to love? We all know someone like that. At least, we of the Sisterhood do and, bearing in mind our children all go to different schools, there are at least three of them currently in existence in Essex. My personal grudge with that mum began with a party invitation. Oh the stresses and politics of primary school birthday parties! Let’s just say that there are ways of inviting children to parties so that the all the children (and parents) who aren’t invited won’t know about it and therefore won’t feel excluded and upset. Handing out very conspicuous, hot pink, A5 pieces of card and posting on the year group parent’s Facebook page is not one of them! Enough said.

After our invigorating walk and respective rants about these awful women (we do try hard to maintain solidarity with the rest of womankind but some of them make it very difficult!) we were more than ready for cake at The Stables, a self service – i.e. you can very carefully eye up the cake slices and pick the ever so slightly larger one! – café in a sweet little courtyard. Of course, being a new joint, I had to check out their carrot cake which was gluten free and, with a pot of tea which easily gave 2 cups, came to £4.75. A little dingy in the farthest corners but lots of space for the buggy and plenty of high chairs for the teeny tot who happily enjoyed spreading a malted milk biscuit all over herself whilst we tucked in. The Sisters both went for coffee and walnut which they heartily enjoyed. We were all in agreement though – Wilkin & Sons do definitely have the edge on the cakes so far.

WP_20181115_11_21_13_Pro — I really will try to get a photo of a whole piece of cake next time!

No. 5 – Cressing Temple & Kum Ba Yah

Sister Y had the spiffing idea of heading to Cressing Temple this week. Again, somewhere we have been with the kids several times. We have done a few Halloween Spooky Fun days which we’ve always enjoyed on the whole (I say on the whole as we cannot lie – there is a fairly dire puppet show which Sister Y and I have endured on more than one occasion. We think the puppeteer must be a relative of the organisers – either that or he does it for free … you have been warned!) and I have taken mine to the Christmas/Santa one which was fab but we have never thought to just go at any other time. In fact, I didn’t even know you could go on non-event days but it’s completely free to visit and wander around – okay, it might not be the most exciting place if you’re not into the history of the region and ancient farm machinery but the barns and buildings are very impressive and the Tudor walled garden is lovely – the whole place has a very serene quality. They also sell their own organic honey and beeswax candles and, on this occasion, had lots of pumpkins going begging for a voluntary donation. We have always given the café a swerve because it has been absolutely rammed on the event days so this was a good opportunity to check it out.

The Barns is another owned by Wilkin & Sons. Personally, whilst I prefer the setting of the Heybridge Basin site, I preferred the tea room itself and thought that the staff were friendlier. It is quite large and bright and was easy to manoeuvre the buggy around. Having said that, there was only one other table occupied on what was a very rainy, grey day. However, they were doing a fantastic offer of tea/coffee and either chocolate fudge cake (yes please!!) or fruit cake for £3.95 – very reasonable. The Sisters both went for the fruit cake, which they said was yummy. I could not knowingly refuse chocolate fudge cake and we all tucked in with relish, so much so that we had gobbled half of it before we remembered to take a photo.

IMG-20181111-WA0001[1] — Even Sister Y forgot the obligatory ‘taunt’ photo before tucking in!

This week we were catching up after Half Term so their were lots of tales to be told of family holidays. Let’s just say that the lesson here my friends is to be careful what you wish for. I’m always rather envious when others say that they are going away on big family get togethers i.e. grandparents, siblings, cousins etc all sharing a lovely old cottage somewhere, all mucking in and participating in quality family time. However, it transpires that it may not always be the joyous, relaxing, bonding experience one had hoped for. Not so much Kum Ba Yah and gathering round the log burner in a warm, fuzzy glow of family harmony as Baby Shark on repeat, sniping and simmering sibling tensions … oo-er … who needs Eastenders, hey?!

Being back on the school run also led us to be lamenting the frustrations of getting the children ready on time in the mornings and we hit upon a fantastic idea. You know how, in Islamic countries, they have the call to prayer? We were thinking, ‘call to school’! A great idea, no? It would save hundreds and thousands of parents from losing the plot every morning after having asked for shoes and coats to be put on 5 times only to find their children still wandering around the hallway, shoeless and coatless, in a daze trying to make the highly important decision of which toy to take for break time. The commanding voice of their Headmistress/Headmaster over a tannoy at 8:30am would surely galvanise them into action …. maybe … We can but dream, cake lovers! xx

No. 4 – Reservoirs & Revelations!

We have actually been to Abberton many a time before with all the children but have never really explored as all they have ever wanted to do is picnic (they do love their food, our lot) and go on the climbing equipment and we have never had the heart to insist that they drag their little limbs around the whole site. Okay, that may be a partial lie – we have probably just wanted an easy life and couldn’t be doing with the inevitable moaning that would have accompanied leaving the adventure playground! We have also never purchased anything from the café, bar the odd ice cream, so thought it would be nice to sample their bakes! It’s free to park, completely buggy-able and they just ask for a, I believe, voluntary donation for the Essex Wildlife Trust.

As always, it was pretty windy but the sun was shining so it was a coat on/coat off kind of a walk. We tried to check out one of the hides but there was a “twitcher” in situ and we thought he probably wouldn’t really appreciate our wittering on whilst he was trying to .. twitch?! (Why are they called twitchers? Answers on a postcard.) We continued walking and our chat turned to the subject of Sister X’s workmen, currently doing some renovations for her, and the fact that they were rather ‘Diet Coke break’ easy on the eye. Unfortunately, after much merriment on the subject we came to the rather sobering realisation that they were probably young enough that we were actually, possibly – biologically at least – old enough to be their mothers! Oh the shame …. the shock when you realise, suddenly, that you aren’t 21 anymore! Clearly, it was time for emergency cake!!

Today, I went for one of my staple choices (not risking going rogue again after the disappointing lemon cake last week, oh no!) – carrot cake. £4.55 for a slice and a cuppa. I can’t actually remember what the other two had but, having studied the photo it looks as though Sister X had some kind of chocolate-crunch-cakey-flapjacky type of thing and Sister Y? I’m going with either orange or ginger. Apologies, I must pay more attention or possibly take notes – this is the main purpose of the blog, after all! Anyway, ‘dry’ is the adjective that sprung from their lips when I asked what they thought and I’m afraid I have to agree. Mine was also a bit warm and the frosting was melting. So not great cake but a lovely, light and airy café with lots of space between tables and views out over the reservoir.

WP_20181018_11_19_45_Pro — It looked nice!

We were actually there for quite some time – the conversation turning to the perfect subject to pair with cake: our children’s personal hygiene habits. I will not reveal which of our children was the source of the hilarity to save embarrassment but one of us discovered with horror that the face cloth we happily cleanse our pores with on a daily basis also has a second use. Imagine the delightful family morning bathroom scene if you will . . . Mummy, upon finishing her facial cleansing routine, places her cloth on the side of the sink and busies herself with her next ablution. In wanders a certain offspring, picks up the cloth and begins enthusiastically cleaning a particular part of his anatomy with it. ‘Oh no darling, that’s my cloth. I use it on my face.’ He smiles, ‘I know Mummy. I use it every day too!’ And with that information, cake lovers, I leave you ……!

No. 3 – A lonesome swan and a delinquent dog!

This week we went to a favourite haunt of Sister X and her clan – Paper Mill Lock. We all managed to find it (it is very easy!) and all arrived early to boot. What a beautiful place – can’t believe Sister X has never insisted we go before. There is a small car park at the tea rooms and, if there is no space, they have an overspill one next door. The toilets are outside so that is very handy if you’re intending to park, walk and then eat cake – or not eat cake at all, I suppose, but then you shouldn’t really be parking in the tea room car park – tsk tsk!! We set off on a slow stroll along the canal, in the direction of Chelmsford. Apparently you can walk all the way to Chelmer Village (where the posh people come from, so I’ve heard, sshhh) and the other direction would eventually bring you out at Heybridge Basin! *this info is all courtesy of Sister X – read into that what you will …!!

We walked at a leisurely pace for about 3/4 of a mile, chaperoned by one lonely looking swan. Beautiful as they are, we of the Sisterhood have experienced first hand their dark side – we used to feed the ducks with the children at the same pond most weeks and they were sometimes in residence, getting out of the pond and a bit too close for comfort when they were hungry – actually hissing and sort of growling – eeek!! Quite unnerving when their reputation for arm-breaking precedes them. Anyway, realising that however far we walked, we’d have to walk the same distance back, we decided that our tummies would be about ready for cake in about 10/15 minutes and so decided to head back (we really must work on the fitness side of our regime).

The tables outside the tea room were mostly empty but still damp and, as we didn’t want soggy bottoms, we chose to sit indoors – although there is also an undercover outside area as well. It is quite small inside, only 6 or 8 tables from memory, but it wasn’t busy and we were the only people with a buggy so it was fine. I have to say that the staff could be accused of lacking enthusiasm – and that would be being kind! The hairy being that served us gave the impression that serving tea and cake was pretty much the dullest thing he could be doing at given time. There were, however, lots of delicious looking cakes to choose from. I went with the Lemon, Sister Y had a very Hallowe’eny-looking Chocolate Orange Cake and Sister X went for a good old Coffee & Walnut. £4 for a cup of tea and a piece of cake so not too bad but I can’t say it was the best cake unfortunately (maybe this is why Sister X has never suggested we go before, as I am now running down her favourite place – sorry Sister, please forgive me!) It was a bit too heavy on the icing and sickly sweet – although I did still manage to eat it all! Oh, and the table was sticky too (sorry, sorry).

WP_20181011_11_10_39_Pro

On the plus side, the other patrons of the tea rooms were very friendly and pleasant. As we were discussing baby names with an older gentleman – who had a severe aversion to the name Wayne for some reason – a little dog trotted in looking rather pleased with himself. The lady at the table behind us immediately jumped up looking slightly flustered and claimed him as hers. Apparently, she had left him having a run around in the field up the road – ?!? – where he ‘usually stayed for hours’ and had nipped down for a cheeky coffee. Okay. For some reason, it transpired that she did not have his lead and was asking Mr Lacklustre behind the counter if he had some rope as a temporary measure. I had the teeny tot balancing on the (sticky) table edge and was blocking Sister X in but Sister Y had two free hands, so I volunteered her dog-holding services whilst the lady went to her car to get the lead. Sister Y was more than happy to help and gladly took the dog’s collar. It was only then that the lady explained that he may get a bit frisky should he see another dog. She began to remove something from her pocket to give to Sister Y. Something brown inside a doggy-poo bag. The smile on Sister’s face began to slowly fade as she thought the lady was for some reason handing her a bag of dog poo!! It turned out to be dog treats – phew – to distract the hound with should another dog walk past. Sister Y exhaled in a very relieved manner as Sister X and I stifled chuckles. The lady returned, lead in hand and, having done our good deed for the day, we decided it was time to head home on a sugar high!

In summary then, we would definitely return to the Lock – such a beautiful place for walking or just sitting and enjoying the surroundings – but perhaps forgo the cake and just opt for a cuppa! Next week – Abberton Reservoir …..

The Second One: Danbury and dodgy directions!

Our travels took us to Danbury today, for a wander around the Common (free parking in the National Trust car park – we don’t like to pay for parking!!) and then on to Hudson’s Café – part of the Mission Church on the Maldon Road. It was all going so well; Sister X was early – again! I have told her I find this slightly unnerving after 7 years of her always being slightly tardy. Sister Y actually managed to find the car park (none of us are particularly blessed with fantastic senses of direction – if you knew me and I told you that I was the most reliable of the three when it comes to way-finding … well, that would indicate just how bad the other two are!) ‘without hysterics’ – her own words – she is not actually of a hysterical persuasion on a daily basis but referring to a recent trip to Hylands Park which began with her questioning her competence as a road user, mother and human being – ok, I’m exaggerating somewhat but you get the gist!

So, anyway, we had a good old stroll around the common – even quite exerting ourselves at some points wrestling the buggy over tree roots and pushing uphill. My eldest offspring was accompanying us on this occasion, being off school following a minor op, so we were able to rely upon her, a KS1 pupil, to ensure we did not get lost (we weren’t overly confident that, had she not been with us, we wouldn’t still be wandering aimlessly through woodland and heathland several hours later in Blair Witch style panic). After half an hour or so we decided that it was high time for cake and so returned to the car park. We discussed the location of the church, with me assuring the others that it was just ‘right and right again’. Sister X confidently declared that she had it down and that it was in her Sat Nav anyway so no need to worry. At this point Sister Y foolishly decided that she would follow her and so they tootled off with me bringing up the rear. Off they went up the road, straight past the right turn that I had suggested. Never fear, I thought (as I checked with my seven year old that we had indeed come the right way), she has her Sat Nav on so it must just be taking them a different route. We duly arrived at the church a few minutes later having indeed turned right and right again but there was no sign of X or Y. Five minutes later, they pulled into the car park, grinning sheepishly and giggling at Sister X’s misguided notion that she would actually be able to trail blaze successfully (even with the use of a Sat Nav). I still can’t quite fathom where they went but the main thing was that they had made it and it was time for cake!!

The Mission Church is a very modern building and actually looks nothing like a church – lots of glass, wood flooring and carpet. Hudson’s is separated from the congregation by glass panels and is quite spacious with a mix of dining chairs, tub chairs and sofas. Plenty of space for the buggy without it being in the way and they even have a little area with some baby toys, books etc which is a lovely idea. The hot chocolate was tasty – £2.40 for a normal sized mug without any extras so not as cheap as you might expect from a café linked to a church, especially as I believe it is run by volunteers – and the cakes were good. Sister X had a ginger cake which she said was nicer than she thought it would be (ha ha!) and Sister Y had Lemon and Blueberry cake. I shared some sort of Malteser-cake/flapjacky thing with my eldest which was very yummy and only £1.50 so quite reasonable.

We are lucky that Sister Y persistently relishes taunting workmates/husband as I forgot to take a photo yet again!

The general consensus was that we would definitely return – it was really clean and bright and they even had boxes of tissues in the toilets (I’m easily pleased!). Sadly though, the Sisterhood were obviously not radiating enough divine energy during our visit as we weren’t offered any kind of holy-fellowship/kindred spirit discount – outrageous!!

Until next time, cake lovers xx

Featured

The first one: cakes, coffee and cycling catastrophe!

Hello! Thanks for checking us out and welcome to The Sisterhood of the Long Boobs – a name too good not to use, taken from an comment made by one of our wonderful children who never fail to make us laugh (and sometimes cry) with their delightfully innocent and entirely tactless childhood observations! There are three of us of the Long-boobed variety – Sister X, Sister Y and myself, the scribe, Sister Evangeline (because ‘Z’ would have been too predictable and, let’s face it, if you’re picking a name – and have watched The Princess and the Frog several hundred times – Evangeline is a pretty kick-ass one!!!).

With three of our youngest offspring recently despatched into the Education system we decided what better excuse to keep meeting every week (not that we really needed an excuse – we do actually enjoy each other’s company … I think!) than to give ourselves the challenge of hunting down good cake! So, whilst many of our other school mum friends were enthusiastically donning those strangely patterned lycra? trousers and meeting on the playground for group running sessions (shudder!) we thought we would take the more leisurely and less sweaty approach to maintaining some vague level of fitness. The hope is that the one remaining teeny (mine) will sit contentedly cooing in her buggy whilst we take in the tea rooms of semi-rural Essex!

For our first outing we decided to head to Heybridge Basin and The Lock Tea Room, owned by Wilkin & Sons (them of the Tiptree Jam fame). So here goes …..

Twas a glorious day, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. The tide was out and so the boats laid bare and gleaming on the river bed as we wandered along the bank towards Goldhanger, chewing the fat and bemoaning the highly inconvenient and unnecessarily awkward settling in session times Sister Y’s youngest’s school had imposed upon the new intake. In truth, we didn’t walk too far (no need to go hell for leather and wear ourselves out on the first excursion) – just to the Blackwater Sailing Club and back to the tea rooms.

It was such a beautiful day that all the outdoor tables were taken so we had to sit inside. No sooner had our bottoms touched the seats and our minds began to mull over what yummy treats we might partake of than Sister X’s phone rang. Now, Sister X is a refreshing rarity of our mobile obsessed times. I have no idea what make of phone she has as I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it in her hand, so for it to ring and for her to answer it was quite an event! After an initial, concerned; ‘Oh no! What’s happened?’ her end of the conversation went more along the lines of, ‘hmmm …. right ….. well I’ve just ordered coffee so I’ll be a while.’ (tiny white lie). It turned out that Husband X had gone out for a bike ride that same morning, sans money and puncture repair kit and, you guessed it, had a puncture! The real kicker was that he had actually made it as far as the local bus station on his little expedition and so, had the silly sausage had a couple of quid in his pocket, he would have been able to get himself and his busted mount home! Sister X’s sympathy obliterated, she left him with the instructions to sit and enjoy the sun – it was a beautiful day after all – and she would be there just as soon as she could gobble her coffee and cake (that she hadn’t ordered yet!!)

And so, crisis averted, we were able to sit and enjoy the delights The Lock had to offer, namely chocolate cake, a rather shockingly bright red velvet cake and almond tart! Of course, conversation turned to the disorganised-ness (I know, not a word!) of husband X and how he may be suffering from separation anxiety following a family holiday and subconsciously have taken to the streets ill-prepared on purpose, knowing that he may require the assistance of his beloved wife …. Okay, so Sister X might be in her second year studying for a diploma in Psychotherapy …. The conversation culminated in my fabulous and naturally very witty idea of buying him one of those little bike purse/pouch things that strap to the crossbar – in which one may choose to keep, say, some spare change and a small puncture repair kit- for Christmas!

Apologies, I have digressed rather shockingly from the purpose of the blog! The cake was very delicious. The venue was, I would say, semi buggy friendly in that, on a quiet day there would be no problem manoeuvring around the tables and finding somewhere to park but, on a colder, rainy day when more of the tables would undoubtedly be occupied, it might be a struggle and some furniture rearranging may have to take place – with more than one buggy it could result in calamity! The outdoor space is lovely on a fair weather day – if you are lucky enough to get a table. It isn’t the cheapest of places – my cake alone was £3.95 – but they are yummy scrum and it was a reasonably large slice. The staff were polite and quite smiley – not super friendly, engaging customers in conversation types but not unfriendly either. All in all we will return, of that I can be fairly certain! So, it’s a ‘yes’ from the Sisterhood …. Until next time xxx

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