This week we went to a favourite haunt of Sister X and her clan – Paper Mill Lock. We all managed to find it (it is very easy!) and all arrived early to boot. What a beautiful place – can’t believe Sister X has never insisted we go before. There is a small car park at the tea rooms and, if there is no space, they have an overspill one next door. The toilets are outside so that is very handy if you’re intending to park, walk and then eat cake – or not eat cake at all, I suppose, but then you shouldn’t really be parking in the tea room car park – tsk tsk!! We set off on a slow stroll along the canal, in the direction of Chelmsford. Apparently you can walk all the way to Chelmer Village (where the posh people come from, so I’ve heard, sshhh) and the other direction would eventually bring you out at Heybridge Basin! *this info is all courtesy of Sister X – read into that what you will …!!
We walked at a leisurely pace for about 3/4 of a mile, chaperoned by one lonely looking swan. Beautiful as they are, we of the Sisterhood have experienced first hand their dark side – we used to feed the ducks with the children at the same pond most weeks and they were sometimes in residence, getting out of the pond and a bit too close for comfort when they were hungry – actually hissing and sort of growling – eeek!! Quite unnerving when their reputation for arm-breaking precedes them. Anyway, realising that however far we walked, we’d have to walk the same distance back, we decided that our tummies would be about ready for cake in about 10/15 minutes and so decided to head back (we really must work on the fitness side of our regime).
The tables outside the tea room were mostly empty but still damp and, as we didn’t want soggy bottoms, we chose to sit indoors – although there is also an undercover outside area as well. It is quite small inside, only 6 or 8 tables from memory, but it wasn’t busy and we were the only people with a buggy so it was fine. I have to say that the staff could be accused of lacking enthusiasm – and that would be being kind! The hairy being that served us gave the impression that serving tea and cake was pretty much the dullest thing he could be doing at given time. There were, however, lots of delicious looking cakes to choose from. I went with the Lemon, Sister Y had a very Hallowe’eny-looking Chocolate Orange Cake and Sister X went for a good old Coffee & Walnut. £4 for a cup of tea and a piece of cake so not too bad but I can’t say it was the best cake unfortunately (maybe this is why Sister X has never suggested we go before, as I am now running down her favourite place – sorry Sister, please forgive me!) It was a bit too heavy on the icing and sickly sweet – although I did still manage to eat it all! Oh, and the table was sticky too (sorry, sorry).
On the plus side, the other patrons of the tea rooms were very friendly and pleasant. As we were discussing baby names with an older gentleman – who had a severe aversion to the name Wayne for some reason – a little dog trotted in looking rather pleased with himself. The lady at the table behind us immediately jumped up looking slightly flustered and claimed him as hers. Apparently, she had left him having a run around in the field up the road – ?!? – where he ‘usually stayed for hours’ and had nipped down for a cheeky coffee. Okay. For some reason, it transpired that she did not have his lead and was asking Mr Lacklustre behind the counter if he had some rope as a temporary measure. I had the teeny tot balancing on the (sticky) table edge and was blocking Sister X in but Sister Y had two free hands, so I volunteered her dog-holding services whilst the lady went to her car to get the lead. Sister Y was more than happy to help and gladly took the dog’s collar. It was only then that the lady explained that he may get a bit frisky should he see another dog. She began to remove something from her pocket to give to Sister Y. Something brown inside a doggy-poo bag. The smile on Sister’s face began to slowly fade as she thought the lady was for some reason handing her a bag of dog poo!! It turned out to be dog treats – phew – to distract the hound with should another dog walk past. Sister Y exhaled in a very relieved manner as Sister X and I stifled chuckles. The lady returned, lead in hand and, having done our good deed for the day, we decided it was time to head home on a sugar high!
In summary then, we would definitely return to the Lock – such a beautiful place for walking or just sitting and enjoying the surroundings – but perhaps forgo the cake and just opt for a cuppa! Next week – Abberton Reservoir …..
The Sisterhood of the Long Boobs 